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How to Deal with Difficult White People at Work

Writer: Nd® WORKPLACE
Nd® WORKPLACE
2 hours ago
5 min read

Published October 27, 2026 at 6:15 AM EDT


It's your move.


SAN FRANCISCO, CA— Some days the people at work get on your last nerve. If you're Black, most days those people are white. Then the second thought arrives right behind the first: is this racism, or am I being overly emotional? If you've asked yourself that, this is for you. It won't make the difficult people disappear. It will help you decide what to do about them.


Name the Frustration, Then Check the Doubt


Start by admitting what you feel. Frustration is information, not a character flaw. The doubt is the harder part. Psychologists who study microaggressions note that they are often delivered by well-meaning people who don't realize what they've done, which is exactly why targets second-guess themselves. One of the documented categories is the color-blind response: denying or minimizing race, or suggesting you're being too sensitive about it. If "you're overly emotional" is the verdict you keep hearing, ask who is handing it down and what they gain from it.


Do not quit your job over bruised "feelings"-- unless you have two better ones lined up. Do not let difficult co-workers rob you of a paycheck. That's equivalent to hustling backwards.

You don't need to prove racism to protect yourself. Keep a simple log: date, what was said or done, who was there. Patterns show up on paper that fade in memory. Ask whether the same thing happens to others, and whether it repeats across situations. If it does, you have your answer. If it doesn't, you've lost nothing and learned something.


Understand Who Is Standing Where


Not every non-Black colleague experiences the workplace the way you do. Sociologist Eduardo Bonilla-Silva describes a three-tier system: whites at the top, "honorary whites" in the middle, and a "collective Black" group at the bottom. His middle tier includes Chinese, Indian, Korean, Japanese, and Middle Eastern Americans, along with lightskinned Latinos. Critics point out that these groups face their own bias, including "forever foreigner" stereotypes, and that his category doesn't fit every subgroup. Still, our view is that Asians, Arabs, and Indians are often treated as closer to white than Black professionals are. The model-minority or "honorary white people" label can bring a kind of acceptance, and with it, little reason to complain about workplace racism even when they're often the first to take advantage of diversity programs -- sometimes intended for blacks.


So, going forward, when we say “white people,” we mean “honorary white people” too.


The data on Black professionals is blunt. In the best-known callback study, identical resumes with white-sounding names drew about 50 percent more callbacks than those with Black-sounding names. Many of us have also described the "Black tax": working twice as hard to be seen as equally good. Our belief is that many workplaces don't want more educated, professional Black people competing for the same roles. We can't point to research proving that motive, but the callback gap and the advancement data suggest you're not imagining the resistance.


There is one more type in the hierarchy: the “blackface.” This is the token "honorary white people" adjacent Black person who is so desperate to keep their job that they will sabotage any other Black person in the competition. This type usually avoids you altogether until they determine your worthiness for acknowledgment and/or management's approval of you. If they do socialize with you, they cannot be trusted to have your back.



Decide What a Job Is For


Here is the question that clears the fog: what matters most to you, how people make you feel or how much you get paid? Most of us want both. When you can't have both, be honest about which one is paying your bills.


Our answer is that a job is not meant to be a source of personal fulfillment, friendship, or close bonding. It is a place to earn a living. That mindset takes power away from difficult coworkers, because they can't take what you never asked them to give. It also frees you to act on a second rule: always be looking for the next better opportunity. A survey of 2,000 working Americans found more than a third had changed jobs just to get away from coworkers. You are allowed to be one of them.


Many white folks like to needle each other, and they'll do it to you. They are subtle and have mastered the art of passive aggression, applying just enough pressure to push you over the edge without implicating themselves in the shoving. Asians send lots of emails.

The solution is to keep it strictly business and be productive. Never, ever, ever let your guard down around “cool white people.” This is a classic setup for gathering sensitive information that can be used to hurt you later.


Survive With Distance, Anonymity, and Production


Belonging at work is overrated and outdated. Companies were cutting staff and outsourcing white-collar work from the 1990s on, long before artificial intelligence changed the conversation. If employers aren't investing in belonging, you shouldn't count on it.


What works instead is distance, anonymity, and production. Remote work lessens the bias many Black employees face. In one survey, only 3 percent of Black white-collar employees wanted to return to the office full time, compared with 21 percent of white employees.


Remote workers describe less code-switching and fewer comments on their appearance. But lessened is not eliminated. Some Black workers report more hostility after the shift, and not every interaction is visible. Anonymity is part of the same strategy. If your name is Rayshawn Jackson, you may wonder whether to leave off your photo. Some Black users leave profile pictures blank on gig, housing, and freelance apps to avoid snap judgments. Research on name bias suggests the worry is grounded, though we haven't found solid research on photos. It shouldn't be your job to hide who you are, and it's fair to resent it. But it is your decision, and it is a legitimate tool. Let the work speak. Produce results that are hard to dispute, keep records, and keep your options open.


The Bottom Line


Difficult people are a fact of work no matter what race or ethnicity they are, and it's not your job to change them. You can change how much they affect you. Trust your read, document what happens, and treat the job as a paycheck. Do the work well, keep your distance, and keep looking for the next better opportunity.


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